


Bonkers Blended Family

by jolimelon, shkanonyasutrice



Category: Battle Royale - All Media Types, Battle Royale - Takami Koushun
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25510102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolimelon/pseuds/jolimelon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shkanonyasutrice/pseuds/shkanonyasutrice
Summary: After Sho and Toshinori get into a fight and their fathers are called to the school, the two find themselves in an unlikely position after finding out that their fathers were romantically involved several years ago.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day in Shiroiwa. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Sho Tsukioka was in the principal's office. None of these factors were unusual- except for one little tidbit. Seated beside Sho in the office was none other than Toshinori Oda, his posh violin-playing classmate. 

Only moments later, their fathers were expected to arrive and hear what had happened. The details of that were as follows: Sho, seated with his friends during their lunch break, sat in the window smoking while talking about a particularly special boy he'd recently met. He was a high school student, tall, buff (but not overly buff), and most importantly, totally gorgeous. His swooning was not subtle, and he had no shame in gushing over this secret crush of his. Not all of his classmates appreciated this- Toshinori in particular.

A heated argument ensued- and whenever Sho and Toshinori bumped heads, separating them was no easy task. The two were some of the most startling opposites within the classroom. Eventually, they found themselves sent to the office, currently awaiting the consequences of their actions. 

Toshinori sat quietly beside Sho, his arms folded and his head down. Normally, he was well-behaved and ignored the vulgar behaviour of his other classmates (Sho being a particular standout). However, he couldn’t stop himself today. Hearing Sho blather on about having a romantic connection with another boy was too much for him to handle.

 _You vulgar idiot. Why couldn’t you just stay quiet?_ he asked himself. He knew his father would be outraged to know that he even interacted with Sho— his father abhorred all vulgar people, and that definitely included gay people. He was going to be so disappointed in Toshinori for not being able to stay quiet.

Taro Tsukioka was the first parent to arrive, and though this wasn't his first rodeo, he was still sure to give Sho an exasperated stare that said, 'What did you do this time?'

"I apologize profusely, Mr. Hayato," Taro greeted, already more than familiar with the entire school staff at that point. "Whatever occurred, I promise I will have a very serious discussion with my son about it."

"We'll wait until Toshinori-kun's father has arrived to get into the details of that," Mr. Hayato replied. "Here he comes now." 

Entering the office just then was Kenji Oda. At the sight of the serious man, dressed in a business suit and likely having arrived straight from work, Taro froze for only a brief second. Still, it was long enough for intuitive Sho to notice. He raised an eyebrow, giving his father a curious look, but Taro continued to divert his attention elsewhere.

Toshinori barely listened to Sho’s father when he came in, but when his father arrived, he raised his head, ready to give the apology of the century. Mr. Hayato was about to speak when Kenji Oda began to give his son grief.

“What in the world did you do? Have I not taught you—“ he began but froze as he looked up and saw Sho’s father. “Better...”

Toshinori eyed his father curiously. Normally, when he began on one of his tirades, he never just stopped. But now, he was looking at Kenji as if he had jammed his finger in a socket.

“Do you two know each other or something?” Toshinori asked impatiently.

There was no response. The two men just stared at each other. Mr. Hayato looked between the group uncomfortably, unsure if he should begin explaining the situation.

Before he could start to explain, however, Toshinori clicked what was going on. He glared daggers at Sho.

“Ugh! I know what’s happening here! Your vulgar father must have bothered my father before!” he snapped. “You disgusting men simply can’t leave your betters alone, can you?! I see the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree.”

"How cute that you think my father would even give yours the time of day," Sho retorted, "The Tsukiokas are far too beautiful to bother with those of amphibian nature, Toad." 

"Sho." Taro grumbled, smacking his son on the shoulder. 

Previously, attending so many of these meetings had exhausted Taro to the point where he hardly reacted to anything anymore. Even a single word out of his mouth (that wasn't an apology to the principal) seemed out of place. 

"I'll get right into the story," Mr. Hayato cut in, "Your sons got into a fight during school hours. It began as a verbal disagreement that quickly became aggressive. Things were thrown in the classroom, causing damage to the chalkboard and teacher's desk. The other students were quite spooked as well." 

Taro leaned down, pinching Sho's ear before grumbling, "What were you thinking?! We can't afford it if the Oda family sues!" 

That got Sho. How would he know that the Oda's were rich? The two families came from completely different circles. What did the two have to do with each other?

Toshinori gulped as Mr. Hayato described what happened. Physical fighting was the epitome of vulgar behaviour, but if his father just knew how vulgar Sho was, he’d understand why Toshinori fought him.

However, his fear was cast aside briefly as Sho’s father made an interesting comment. Similar to Sho, Toshinori was now eyeing his father up suspiciously too. How could he possibly know how rich they were?

“Mr. Hayato, with all due respect, I feel this conversation would be more productive if we discussed it outside of school grounds,” Kenji finally spoke, trying to keep his composure.

“I don’t think I can attend—“ Mr. Hayato began, but Kenji held up a hand to stop him.

“Just between the four of us. What do you say, Ta— Tsukioka?” Kenji said. “You and your son can come to my mansion. I believe we have a lot to discuss.”

Toshinori shuddered. The thought of Sho Tsukioka in his home was a nightmare. He looked up at Kenji, his face pale. 

“Father, you can’t possibly—“

“Toshinori, this decision doesn’t concern you,” Kenji said sharply. “You’ve caused enough trouble for today.”

"Us? In your mansion? Now isn't this a peculiar-" Sho began to talk but was promptly cut off by his father's hand against his mouth. Childishly, he pushed it away and shot him a look. 

"Are you sure?" Taro asked, averting his gaze away from the man, instead focusing his line of vision on a small trinket on the principal's desk. "We wouldn't want to impose."

"You certainly would be imposing!" Toshinori cut in, glaring at Kenji. "Father, what has come over you?!"

Kenji laid a hand on his son's shoulder, giving him a stern look, which was enough to shut him up. In a moment of almost-solidarity, Toshinori gave Sho a baffled look. However, then he remembered who Sho was, and gave him a scowl once more.

Sho returned the scowl, curling his upper lip in an annoyed manner as he rolled his eyes. 

"Ignore my son. You wouldn't be imposing at all," Kenji said. "I believe it would be... beneficial to discuss this in a nicer environment than this ugly room."

Still hesitant to accept the offer, Taro spoke slowly as he replied, "Alright. A private discussion does seem like a better idea." After a pause, he turned to Mr. Hayato and said, "Once again, I apologize for what happened today." 

"Even so, regardless of your discussions on the matter," Mr. Hayato spoke up, "We must also do our part in punishing the boys properly. They will have after-school cleaning duties for two weeks." 

Despite Sho's groans, Taro replied, "That seems reasonable," while hesitantly eyeing Kenji.

Toshinori’s nightmare became worse and worse. He gripped his father’s sleeve, looking up at him desperately.

“Father. Please. Have you lost your mind? Tell him I won’t do it! It’s all that vulgar homosexual’s fault!” he cried.

Taro cringed at the use of the word homosexual. Such visibility was dangerous, even in the company of somebody like a principal (perhaps even more so- given the position of authority). 

”Toshinori!” Kenji barked, a little sterner than usual. He regained his composure and turned to Taro. “I’ll see you once they’re done school.”

"Alright," Taro had agreed with a sigh. Looking down at his son softly, he offered few warning words before he left, "Be good." 

With that, Kenji strode out of the room, followed slowly by Taro, who didn't want to walk too closely. Toshinori sat there, wondering what the hell had gotten into his father. Inviting homosexuals into their house? Why not invite the whores and homeless too? He had never seen his father allow anyone so vulgar in his house.

The after school duties would be fine. He would simply guilt one of the simple girls, or that fatass Akamatsu, into doing his duties. He had bigger concerns right now with his father’s odd behaviour. He stormed out of the room, not sparing a look at the vulgar boy who had gotten him into this mess. He found himself dreading what was awaiting after school.

"See ya later, Mr. Hayatooo," Sho hummed before he exited the office as well, walking slowly behind Toshinori at a decent distance. The frog-like boy seemed mad even by the way he walked, which almost made Sho laugh. To add insult to injury, just before he turned a separate corner, Sho called out, "Yoohoo, Oda-kuuun! Can't wait to see what the big mansion is like tonight! It better be worth the travel!"

Toshinori was still trying to wrap his head around what the hell had just happened as he left the office. He couldn’t understand his father at all. Why would he want those vulgar homosexuals anywhere near their lovely home?

As he contemplated this, he heard Sho’s annoying voice call out. He spun on his heel, glaring at the boy. “I don’t know what has come over my father, but you are not a guest in our home! You will be treated like a dog when you enter! Prepare yourself!”

With that, he stormed off down the corridor, ignoring his other classmates’ whispered gossip. The rest of the school day felt like a surreal blur to him as he tried to come to terms with the fact that Sho Tsukioka was going to be in his house.

* * *

School has passed by, as well as the after-school cleaning duties. Sho and Oda had avoided each other for the remainder of the day and evening, though they knew it couldn't last forever. In no time, the agreed-upon time for their fathers to meet had arrived. 

Nervously, Taro took a breath as he eyed up the house, looking as if he needed to prepare himself before entering. 

"So, how do you know each other?" Sho asked, suddenly. 

Eyes widened, Taro quickly replied, "Who said we-" 

"Don't try me. I can tell you do." 

With a look of defeat, Taro spoke again, "Alright. I should tell you something before we go in. The truth is-" 

"Tsukioka-san?" A voice interrupted the man. 

It was an elderly gentleman, and judging by his uniform- a family servant as well. 

"My name is Fukuda," The servant spoke again, "I'm employed by the Oda family. I was asked to welcome the two of you inside." 

Looking at Sho apologetically, Taro began to take the stairs to the mansion, following Fukuda as he led them straight to the main area where the Odas awaited them.

When Toshinori arrived home from school, he tried several times to get his father to explain what was going on, but to no avail. Kenji just kept cutting him off, refusing to explain everything. Toshinori had no choice but to accept that this was going to be the worst afternoon of his life.

He and his father were in the living room, waiting on their arrival. Toshinori sat on the couch, glaring down at the floor. Kenji was pacing back and forth, unable to sit down. _What has gotten into you, father?_ he wondered.

When the Tsukiokas arrived in the main area, Toshinori scowled at Sho, not offering him any greeting. Kenji, on the other hand- and much to Toshinori's surprise- bowed when he saw Taro. Before Toshinori could react, Kenji took his head and forced it down in a makeshift bow too.

"Taro, I apologize immensely for my son causing you so much hassle. I hope you can accept my apology. I... didn't want to meet you again under such troublesome circumstances," he said and raised his head. "I thought meeting here would be far more pleasant, don't you think?"

Taro looked uncomfortable with the entire ordeal, his fidgety body language a dead giveaway. 

"It's fine," he had answered quickly, not wanting to dwell much on anything, "This was all pretty inevitable sooner or later." After another pause, he added, "You have a lovely home." 

Sho, growing more impatient by the moment, could barely stand the anticipation any longer. "So, how do the two of you know each other?" 

"Sho, please, be patient," Taro hushed him, "This is... Well, it's very complicated."

"Know each other?" Toshinori asked. 

His father's behaviour had to come down to their past connection- he knew that much now. However, he now had more questions than before.

He glared up at his father, who had become silent. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, and Kenji rolled his eyes at his son's petulant behaviour. He knew that the boys wouldn't cooperate much further without some sort of explanation.

"Mr. Tsukioka, I believe our boys are curious to know how we know each other," Kenji said stiffly.

"There's no need to be so formal, Kenji," Taro responded, a bit of a weak smile on his lips. "If the truth is coming out after all..."

At that, Sho's ears perked up. "Ooh, pray tell. We're all listening." 

"First things first," Taro cut in, and added somewhat joking, "Let's sit somewhere before I faint from nerves."

"Stop this inane dawdling and just tell us!" Toshinori snapped, getting increasingly worried. There was no way his father would just casually associate with a homosexual... was there?

Kenji nodded, offering a seat for Taro. He sat down on an opposite chair, facing the two boys.

"Now, you boys need to understand that our previous... connection has nothing to do with either of you," he explained.

"Absolutely nothing," Taro concurred, placing a hand on Sho's shoulder. "It might be a little strange to hear." 

Sho gave his father a curious look, then drew the same look over to the Oda's sitting across from them. He held eye contact with Toshinori for a fleeting, though long-lasting, second. Were they both drawing the same conclusion here? 

"It was before either of you were born, around twenty years ago," Taro continued, but unsure of how much exactly Kenji wanted to tell his son, he let his voice drift off so that the other man may take the lead.

“We had just closed a major deal, and my colleagues thought it would be utterly hilarious to celebrate in a... more flamboyant bar,” Kenji continued.

Toshinori glanced up at Sho. He was still unsure of what their fathers’ connection was, but given how warm his father was acting towards Sho’s father, he was getting worried. The more preferable situation would be that they had an altercation in the past, but as his father continued speaking, he worried that wasn’t the case.

“Needless to say, I was deeply uncomfortable. My colleagues were particularly inebriated and ended up leaving me alone. Mr. Tsukioka here saw me by myself, sensed my discomfort, and... well, kept me company,” Kenji continued, letting himself drift off to let Taro continue.

Unfortunately, before Taro could get a word in, Sho let out an abrupt laugh, "You hooked up, didn't you? Oh my God, you totally did. With an Oda?" 

"Sho, please!" Taro hushed him again, "Spare some eloquence. This poor boy over here is getting the shock of his life, I'm sure." 

Eyeing Toshinori with a taunting smile, Sho managed to bite his tongue for the time being. 

"We hit it off almost immediately. We become, uhm, rather close for some time. I'm sure you both understand what we mean at this point but- well, evidently we eventually broke things off when it began to get... complicated, let's say. After that, we both ended up starting families of our own and... Given that we're on different sides of town, we haven't really encountered each other since."

As Taro began to explain the nature of their relationship (along with Sho’s vulgar chime-ins), Toshinori’s face became pale. There was no way he was hearing this right— his father, who had taught him all about the vulgar masses... was previously romantically connected to a homosexual? It had to be a cruel joke.

He sat there in utter silence, gripping the arm of the sofa until his knuckles turned white.

"Wooow, this is a major shocker, I must say." Sho chimed in. Looking at Kenji, he asked, "So what's the deal with you? Closet case or experimenting or what?"

Kenji saw how his son was practically on the verge of fainting but was more focused on Sho’s question.

“Your son is rather... forward with his questions,” Kenji said to Taro through gritted teeth.

"I know..." Taro sighed, nudging Sho with his elbow, "I don't know where he gets it." 

Sho just smiled in response. 

“But if I’m being utterly honest with myself, Mr. Tsu- Taro is the only person I’ve ever felt truly happy with. My marriage has meant nothing to me. I... don’t like to admit it, but that’s the truth.”

Toshinori leapt to his feet.

“You should be ashamed! Your marriage meant nothing to you?! Mother deserves better than you! You vulgar homosexual! Hypocrite! Years of telling me—“

“Toshinori, enough! Did I not just say this relationship has nothing to do with you?!” Kenji snapped. “Besides, I don’t even know how Taro feels about seeing me again.”

Toshinori's disappointed display made Taro feel a pang of guilt, and regret. "Perhaps we should've spoken in private first..." 

"Oh, no, no, I am living for this," Sho said, amused by Toshinori's outbursts, unlike anything he'd seen from the hoity-toity boy before. 

"I-I don't entirely disagree with what you're saying," Taro replied, hoping Kenji understood what he implied, "But I do think we still have a lot to discuss even still. Twenty years is an awfully long time."

Toshinori swung around at the two vulgar Tsukiokas, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow them whole. If it did, he was certain that ninety percent of the world's issues would instantly be solved.

"You shouldn't be speaking about this at all! This is disgusting talk, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for stepping into our house at all!" Toshinori snapped.

Taro grimaced as the small Oda boy screamed at him. He hadn't expected things to run smoothly, but he certainly hadn't imagined this sort of reaction, either. 

Kenji sighed, deciding that there was no way that he would successfully calm down his son. Instead, his attention was focused on Taro. 

"Of course, we do have an awful lot to discuss. Perhaps we can talk further over dinner downtown," he said and gave their two annoying sons a pointed glance. "Without the extra company?"

"I think that would be for the best as well," Taro agreed, reaching into his bag to retrieve a business card, "Here's my number, for when you need to reach me."

Kenji took the business card and examined it for a moment. Seeing Taro's name there in solid writing caused him to smile faintly, but he quickly caught himself and nodded, pocketing the card.

"Well, I'll be sure to be in touch soon, so await my call," he said with some formality. "Once again, I apologize for my son's vulgar behaviour."

"That's alright," Taro replied meekly. 

With that, Kenji turned to Toshinori, who was still scowling at the Tsukiokas. He took him by the ear, pulling him up the stairs. "And you, young man, are absolutely losing your violin privileges for the next two weeks."

After the Oda's were out of sight, Taro turned to his son, who he noticed was staring at him with a teasing look. 

"Don't even get started," Taro said, "I don't have the energy. Let's go home."

"Alriiight," Sho hummed. Despite his outward upbeat reactions, he was feeling pangs of disgust and concern. Whatever was going to happen next, he knew he'd be seeing more of the Oda's, and frankly? He'd rather have his head shaved.


	2. Chapter 2

A week or so had passed since the uncomfortable meeting between Sho Tsukioka, Toshinori Oda, and their fathers. The two still had afterschool cleaning duty punishment for another week, which they'd surprisingly remained faithful to. Although they hadn't spoken to each other during that time, there was a silent sort of understanding that, given current events, being at school as opposed to being at home wasn't actually all that bad at the moment. 

Sho, who was tasked with cleaning the blackboard because he was the taller of the two, had an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips as the wiped away the last bit of the days writing. As he walked to the window to smack the eraser's clean, he lit the cigarette, taking puffs between eraser smacks. With one leg on the floor and the other resting on the ledge, he turned to glance at Toshinori Oda. 

"My father isn't home much these days," Sho said to him, the first time he'd acknowledged him in days. He set the erasers down and put the cigarette between his fingers, exhaling a cloud of smoke, "I assume yours isn't either?"

After the shock of the week, Toshinori had been unable to muster up the energy to get one of his stupid classmates to do his afterschool duties. He got on with them quietly, just wanting to go home.

Or, that was perhaps a little inaccurate. He didn't want to go home to see his family, particularly his father. On the rare occasion that he was home nowadays, he spent all his time on the phone to that vulgar man, no doubts. Most of the time, he was gone, but Toshinori knew exactly where, and couldn't bear that knowledge. So, yes, it was inaccurate to say he wanted to go home. He just wanted to be away from Sho Tsukioka.

Speaking of, he wrinkled his nose in disgust as he smelt the cigarette smoke from the back of the classroom. He stopped tidying when he realized Sho had spoken to him. At first, he was about to simply glare as a response, but then realized that Sho was facing a similar problem to him.

"No. You happen to think they're spending all their time together too, correct?" he said sulkily. "It's disgusting."

"Undoubtedly, " Sho replied calmly, leaning his back against the side of the windowsill. "The new cologne, the hair care, the long nights on the phone..." His voice dragged on as he listed the reasons, "They're dating. It's obvious."

Even though Toshinori suspected the same as Sho, he had frequently pushed the thought out of his mind. The thought of his father with a man- not only a man, but Sho's father- was the most vile thing he could think of.

"Ugh! And, what, we're supposed to just sit back and let them do that? Do they not know how wrong and twisted it is?" he snapped.

"Old people in love are kind of cute, I guess," Sho taunted, taking a deep inhale before adding, "This, however, could prove to be problematic for moi et toi." 

As he spoke, a large cloud of smoke drifted from his mouth, wafting in Toshinori's directions thanks to a gust of wind. Sho snickered. 

"So the question is, what do we do about it?"

Toshinori wrinkled his nose and coughed as the cigarette smoke hit him. He glared at Sho, wondering how he could be so crude in a place of learning.

At his question, he immediately felt conflicted. On the one hand, the idea of teaming up with Sho was so unsavoury that he would rather be entered into the program and die at the hands of one of his vulgar classmates. On the other hand, he knew that Sho might be the only person who knew how to end this vulgar relationship after all.

Besides, if their fathers’ relationship continued, it would inevitably mean that their families’ lives would become intertwined. The idea of his and Sho’s lives being melded together horrified him— his reputation would plummet. He had to put an end to this.

“Isn’t it clear?” Toshinori asked. “We destroy them.”

Laughing, Sho replied, "Such savagery from such a teeny tiny little frog." 

With his free hand, Sho pulled out his compact mirror, smoothing down the baby hairs that drifted with the wind. 

"I do, however, have one condition," Sho began to explain, closing the mirror and looking at Toshinori seriously, "My father is a good person, and he, like myself, deserves the best. For whatever reason, your father seems to make him happy. We obviously can't have them stay together, but whatever we do, we can't break my poor father's heart. Lord knows he's had enough of that. I know you don't care so if you don't agree then, well, I'm more than content letting things progress, becoming roomies, and living luxuriously in the old Oda mansion." 

He crushed the remainder of his cigarette on the windowsill and tossed it out the window. Then, he looked back at Toshinori. 

"Do we have a deal?"

At first, Toshinori was about to object to Sho's condition. He couldn't care less about Taro, and breaking his heart sounded like a good punishment for brainwashing his father with his vulgar homosexual ideals. However, when Sho mentioned the possibility of living in his mansion, he felt pure and utter horror. Nothing was worse than the possibility of living in the same house as Sho.

So, although it hurt him to not break Taro's heart, he knew he had only one answer.

"We have a deal," he replied. "So, what's our plan here?"

"Excellent," Sho responded, tossing the chalk erasers back on the ledge, "I'm glad you asked because I already have the perfect plan in mind, of course." 

The wind blew into the classroom once more, fluttering the curtains behind Sho, framing his tall stature with an ominous air.

Coming up with the plan was one thing- but making it work would be another.

* * *

For the first time since the relationship of Toshinori's nightmares began, the pair of them wanted to invite the boys to have dinner. Of course, normally, Toshinori would gag at the thought (and internally, he did), but it was the perfect opportunity to carry out his plan with Sho.

As he made sure his outfit looked presentable, he strode downstairs, hearing the Tsukiokas' car pull up outside. Kenji watched as his son came down the stairs with some level of tension, as the last week had been a rough one for their relationship.

"I'm going out to greet my classmate," Toshinori said.

"Oh... you are?" Kenji asked, his eyebrows raised. He didn't expect his son to show civility towards Taro's son, especially given their fight the previous week.

Toshinori simply nodded and walked out, watching with some disgust as the Tsukiokas got out of the car. He found it disgusting that they were even allowed on the property, but that would end soon enough. All Toshinori had to do was ally with Sho temporarily. With that in mind, he strode towards the boy.

"Tsukioka," he said with a nod, and then whispered, "You're certain this plan will work?"

Sho, who had been adjusting his hair in the car's wing mirror, instinctively reacted with an annoyed groan when he heard Toshinori's voice. After a second, he remembered that they were temporary allies, and turned to face him. "Of course it will. I thought of it, didn't I?" 

Not having heard a thing between the two boys, Taro just smiled and assumed that them talking meant they were getting along. "I'm just going to head in now, okay? I'll see the two of you inside!" 

"Okaaay," Sho chimed, then turned back to Toshinori, "All we can do it try, hm? Have some faith, will you? You have way too many worry lines for a fifteen-year-old boy."

Toshinori simply scowled at Taro as he walked away. He then turned towards Sho, his expression not softening in the slightest.

"If you were surrounded by as many vulgar people as I am, you'd also have worry lines," he snapped. "And have any of your plans ever gone successfully? This is vital. This isn't some escapade with your fellow goons. If we fail at this, our lives could be destroyed."

"If you can think of anything better, frog, then by all means, entertain me with your jokes." Sho replied, his voice low and threatening, "I could always go in there and praise old daddy Warbucks to high heaven. When I move in, I'd want a room with a good view, too..."

Toshinori's mouth dropped open in horror. Of course, the idea Sho was suggesting had crossed his mind several times in a nightmarish fantasy, but he was determined to make sure it didn't become a reality.

"No, your idea will suffice. Remember, do not hold back," he sneered under his breath.

As they strode into the house, he put on a warm, fake smile. "Hello, father. Mr. Tsukioka. I'm so looking forward to tonight. I think it'll be very... interesting."

"Mr. Oda, papa," Sho greeted as well with a smile. "I'm suuuper excited for this little soirée." 

Taro and Kenji gave each other a look of confusion, neither have suspected that their sons would be so relaxed while under the same roof. But they couldn't complain either, so they shrugged it off, heading into the dining room with the boys.

"Wow, what a gorgeous room," Taro commented, "The colour accents are amazing."

As Taro had his back to Toshinori, the boy rolled his eyes and scowled. The man was already infuriating. Any extra minute he spent in this house would be hell beyond compare.

He nudged Sho to get his attention. He waited until the two men were out of earshot, and then began to speak.

"I can't take this anymore," he whispered. "Can't you aggravate my father already by whipping out one of your vulgar rainbow flags? You gays carry them around with you at all times, don't you?"

"Is that really what you think?" Sho snickered. Maybe the flag thing wasn't so far off for him specifically but still- it was a generally stereotypical assumption. "Oh, poor Oda, so clueless. You really think a rainbow flag will do it? Your father has already bought a ticket to the sausage fest so we can't use that as ammo." 

Thinking, Sho glanced at their father's as they spoke in the distance, neither particularly concerned about what their kids were discussing. 

"No, it has to be something else. He needs to say something sexist, or transphobic or something along those lines. My father hates bigots so if he heard something like that from sugar daddy over there, he'd drop his ass in an instance."

Toshinori glared at Sho, ready to go off on him for using such crude language in relation to his father. He stopped himself from speaking, though. His father had earned that vulgar reputation for himself.

“Oh, getting my father to speak poorly of the vulgar masses? Shouldn’t be a problem,” he said.

Then, he turned to the two men.

“Mr. Tsukioka, I’ve always been curious. What was the mother of your child like?” he said loudly, indicating to Sho. “You must have cared for her deeply to have a child with her.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his father tense up, undoubtedly out of jealousy. Toshinori barely held back a smirk.

Sho shot Toshinori a peeved glare for deciding that the topic of choice should be about his mother- something he himself didn't often talk about. Lord knew he needed any more ammo for Toshinori Oda to be throwing around. Frankly, he already knew far too much about his life. 

"Oh," Taro's voice became high with surprise, having not expected such a question from Toshinori of all people, "She was certainly an interesting woman. She was, uhm, part of a biker gang actually. We were good friends but it was never anything like that- minus one time, I mean. She wasn't really interested in being a mother but I had always wanted a family so Sho in my custody was an easy choice for both of us."

Then, the room became silent, all eyes slowly falling upon Kenji for his reaction.

Kenji cleared his throat and briefly glared at his son for bringing up such an awkward topic. He wasn’t particularly fond of hearing of Sho’s mother.

“Well, if a woman isn’t willing to raise a child, what good is she for?” he said shortly.

Toshinori smirked and gave Sho a look of triumph, knowing that his father had fallen for it— hook, line, and sinker. Now, all that needed to be done was for Taro and Sho to leave their lives forever.

"Uh-oooh" Sho mouthed, looking at Toshinori with a wicked grin. There was no way a comment like that wasn't going to offend Taro, the most progressive and politically correct person he knew.

"That's pretty offensive, isn't it?" Sho asked, after noticing his dad was a little taken aback but not speaking up. 

"Ah, well," Taro hesitated to speak, "It just wasn't her purpose in life. A woman should be able to choose what she'd like to do with her life. Certainly, some women may feel that being a mother is theirs but she wasn't one of them, and I think that's perfectly fine."

“Well...” Kenji began, looking unsure if he should go on. “Where I grew up, we were taught that a woman’s main purpose in life was to raise a child. If they don’t wish to do that, then... what do they have?”

As he spoke, Toshinori continued smirking. 

“Why, yes, father, you’ve always held the strong opinion that women are only supposed to reproduce,” he said.

Sho shared the look of satisfaction with his enemy. Who knew they could work together so well? 

"Dreams and aspirations, just the same as anybody else," Taro answered, his tone calm and educational, "Surely when you stop to think about it, you can't genuinely believe in such outdated roles?"

Kenji hummed in thought before answering. Toshinori internally cheered, knowing that within minutes, these two vulgar homosexuals would be out of his life forever.

“Hm... well, you must understand the world I was raised in. It’s a world of business— men are meant to run companies and exemplify class, women are meant to reproduce, and children are meant to be heirs,” he explained. “But... in all honesty, with you, I would look forward to exploring a world where those roles are not necessary.”

"What?!” Toshinori exclaimed. “Father, what are you saying?! You’re willing to abandon all your morals for this man?!”

“My so-called morals are the reason I couldn’t be with the person I always wanted to be with! Have you ever considered that, you little brat?” Kenji argued back.

Toshinori took a step back, feeling both horrified and defeated. In a moment of utter desperation, he gave Sho a pleading look for help.

Sho's smile dropped as his teeth gritted in disapproval. He couldn't even fully appreciate the pathetic look begging for help that Toshinori wore on his face. 

Turning to his father, Sho said, "That sounds too good to be true. You've been down this road before, right? Might as well save the heartache this time and go home." 

Taro ignored him, however. With a light smile at Kenji's words, he nodded his head, "I get so carried away sometimes but... I understand how difficult it can be to unlearn some of the things that we are conditioned to believe since birth. I know you're trying your best, dear." 

"No way," Sho mumbled, running out of ideas. Whispering to Toshinori, he said, "We'll need bigger ammo, I guess."

Toshinori stared helplessly at the couple for a minute. He scrambled his brains, trying to find anything he could use to throw a wrench in this relationship.

“Well! I’m sure your putrid... _ugh,_ boyfriend will be pleased to know that my hatred of the vulgar masses, including homosexuals, was taught to me by my father! But sure, Mr. Tsukioka, if you want to date a man who spewed hateful rhetoric all his life, that’s your business,” he said with an innocent shrug.

Kenji glared at his son before turning back to Taro. He held his hands up in defense.

“I’m not going to base a relationship on lies, so yes... what my son says is true. But, please try to understand I was grappling with serious internal conflict back then,” he explained to Taro.

Taro nodded his head along slowly with patience, "I see," he muttered, giving Sho a fleeting second of hope. But soon, it was crushed again when Taro continued to speak. 

"I can't say I love it," Taro explained, "But I understand. It was all internalized hatred which can be so harsh and damaging. I know it must've been quite hard on you as well. It'll take some work but... I think you can get there someday- No, I know you can."

"Papa, you don't know just how awful Oda has been at school, it's been so bad for my complexion and mental health," Sho cut in, immediately playing the sympathy card. He gave Toshinori a brief look that suggested that they should play a new angle, given that the current one wasn't working. "He's been totally toxic and hurtful. I can't stand being around him. Knowing that it's because of how he was raised totally makes it sooo much worse..." 

"Well, I..." Taro's voice drifted off, not sure of how to handle the new development, "I didn't know you felt that way."

At first, Toshinori was ready to take offense to Sho's horrible comments, but then realized what he was doing. He nodded, indicating to the boy.

"I... admit that I have not been kind to your son. Look at his face. It's hideous, and I believe that is because of my behaviour towards him," he said sadly. "Perhaps if my father didn't impose such ideals on me, I wouldn't have treated him in such a way.

Kenji froze up, looking like a deer in headlights. He had no idea where this was coming from. Of course, he admittedly had passed on some toxic ideologies onto his son but had told him to always keep a classy and dignified front in public. So, he found it difficult to believe that all this was due to Toshinori's behaviour.

"With all due respect, I don't think my son is the only one in the wrong here. Look at his complexion, clearly he has been through his own rough times in school," he countered. "We were called in last week because they both got in a fight, after all."

At the mention of his face being hideous, Sho was quick to get defensive- perhaps getting a little too involved in their plot as he retorted, "Well, it's not my fault that he looks like a frog- everybody says so. Yet I'm the only one that gets backlash for saying it? Total homophobia," Sho asked defensively, then realizing he possibly cost himself a good argument he added, "But that's totally beside the point! That entire thing only started because he was being grossly homophobic towards moi. Is it wrong to defend myself?" 

"You shouldn't say something like that regardless of what-" Taro began to speak, but was promptly cut off by Sho. 

"He literally just said something totally offensive too," Sho rolled his eyes, "You know, people would overlook that child's face if only he had a decent personality, but because he was raised by Mr. Monopoly over there, he's become a total insufferable homophobic little cu-" 

"Sho, please!" Taro cut in, "I understand your feelings but everything can be talked out. Toshinori-kun is young enough that he can grow out of those harmful worldviews."

Toshinori glared at Sho as he began to insult him. Of course, he felt like a fool for ever believing that working alongside one of the most vulgar kids in his class could ever result in anything other than failure.

"Even if my father raised me to be the most vulgar hippie imaginable, I still would never tolerate you! You're a vulgar delinquent who has no respect for his betters!" Toshinori snapped. "And besides, you utter fool! We're meant to be working together, and yet you insult me?!"

"Hang on," Kenji said, holding up a hand. "Working together? What are you talking about?"

Glancing between the boys, Taro hoped for a quick answer to the ominous statement.

Toshinori froze, realizing what he had done. He opened his mouth but immediately closed it again. He turned to Sho, wondering what they could say to get themselves out of this one.

Sho felt nearly ready to kill Toshinori right then and there. Was frog-hunting season a thing? Because it sure felt like it was long overdue. Glaring on the boy, Sho pursed his lips in an annoyed manner before spouting out the first lie he could think of. 

"A school-thing, obviously," Sho replied quickly, "Ever since we've been stuck on cleaning duty together, Hayashida has been telling us to act like a team or whatever," Then, turning to Toshinori, he added, "But we're not one, hm? And we never will be."

"Yes! A school-thing!" Toshinori piped up, trying to sound innocent. "And we certainly are not a team. Boys like Tsukioka are too stupid to be in the presence of such dignified people."

"Dignified?" Sho retorted with a scoff, "I've yet to see any dignified people in this little lilypad of yours." 

Kenji continued staring at his son. He could tell when something was up, especially when his son pretended to be nice. He folded his arms as he thought back on the earlier conversation topics that Toshinori had brought up, and realized what was going on.

"I know what you're doing. I'm sorry the two of you have such a problem accepting that you're going to be a part of each others' lives, but Taro and I will not change that because of your ridiculous grudge against each other," he snapped. "I love this man, and I-"

He froze, realizing what he had said. Toshinori stared at him in horror, feeling as if someone had just taken his violin and snapped it over their knee. 

Taro's eyes widened and his breathing slowed. He placed a hand on his warming cheek and could barely stop himself from smiling, despite the drama that had to occur for such words to be stated. Sho, meanwhile, felt his blood running cold.

"What I mean is... I..." Kenji began again and stopped. "Forget it. I love this man, and I don't care if he knows. I don't care about either of your opinions, boys. Believe it or not, you have no say in our relationship."

It was such a sickly scene, even to Sho who would normally think such a romantic statement was endearing. Something about seeing it occur between his father and the father of the frog prince himself was just gag-worthy. 

"You're kidding," Sho mumbled under his breath, knowing that he and Toshinori would soon have to wave their little white flags in defeat. 

"I feel the same way," Taro said, finally having caught his breath. "I love you, and I'm so tired of things never working out for us in some way or another. This time-- This time things can be different. I know it's difficult for you boys to hear but you'll have to get used to this. This is just the way it's going to be."

Kenji smiled warmly, almost instantly forgetting about the chaos their sons had caused. He edged closer towards Taro, and embraced him, the other man melting into his arms in return. As he did so, Toshinori wrinkled his nose and made a gagging noise.

That brought Kenji's attention back to the boys. This was a wonderful moment for the both of them, and he didn't want to let their terrible sons ruin it. He turned to them, trying to muster a stern expression, but knew he was failing slightly due to how happy he felt about Taro's confession.

"Taro, I think we deserve to have a nice dinner alone. Toshinori, go to your room. Sho, you can take one of the guest rooms. Both of you can sit there and think about what you've done, and maybe try to think about becoming better people while you're at it," he said. "The chef will bring your food up later."

"Oh, that's rich," Sho laughed, "But you're not my da-"

"I think this might be for the best as well, sweetie," Taro said meekly, "Please understand."

Kenji made a shooing gesture at the two boys. Toshinori's eyes widened at the gesture, causing him to pout. He began to storm up the stairs, wanting to get out of this nightmare as soon as possible.

"Great plan, Tsukioka! It went swimmingly, did it not?!" he snapped sarcastically.

"Like you should talk," Sho said, as he halted in his steps. He gripped onto Toshinori's arm, giving him a dirty glare, "You brought absolutely nothing to this plan and your acting was terrible. It's completely your fault that my brilliant idea was ruined." 

Letting go of Toshinori's arm, Sho turned around and began to walk down the stairs again, "So I'm going to be giving you a little gift as _thanks_ for all of your _amaaazing_ work," he said sarcastically. He slipped his hands into his pocket, pulling out the keys to Taro's car, which he jingled with his fingers. At some point during the argument, he had managed to grab them unnoticed.

" _I'm_ going home but I'm sure my dad was planning to stay the night, anyway. I personally refuse to stay here any longer, but hey, your room is right beside your dad's, right? So have fun with all of the noise that you're going to be hearing tonight, toad. I hope the trauma is enough to put you into a coma."

Toshinori stared at Sho in utter horror. He then glared at the boy. "I hope you crash that car and die a horrible death," he sneered, "and I hope that stupid pompadour of yours gets shaven clean off when your body is laid out in your coffin."

He gulped at the thought of the night that lay ahead. This had to stop. And soon. Before Sho could retort, he continued to speak.

"This isn't over, by the way. You need to keep strategizing because they cannot stay together," he whispered. "We're going to destroy this once and for all."

"Then why don't you think of something then, hm?" Sho turned around, halting temporarily to warn him, "It's about time you contributed something. This time, it's up to you to come up with a plan and it had better be good. Don't waste my precious time."

"I should be the one worrying about _you_ wasting _my_ precious time," Toshinori snapped. "By the time I'm done, I can guarantee you and I will never be in the same household again. Doesn't that sound ideal?"

"Fine, then prove it," Sho retorted, raising an eyebrow, "You'd better act fast. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if they were already considering a little move-in."

Toshinori flinched a little at Sho's theory. "I'll get it done. I'd rather die than ever end up in the same household as you."

"What a coincidence," Sho's voice got louder as he descended down the stairs, not bothering to look back, "The feeling is completely mutual."

Downstairs, Taro and Kenji began to enjoy their private dinner, unaware of their sons upstairs, plotting the downfall of their relationship for the second time in the space of a week.


End file.
